Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
