I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
