Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
