Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
