I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
