so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize