quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
