so that wasnt chicken after all
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
