Porn is love you can see.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
