Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
