I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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