His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
