We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
