Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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