youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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