sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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