I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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