Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
