I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
