Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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