"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize