YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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