it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
