the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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