There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
