um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
