Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
