I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
