That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
