We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
