My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
