I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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