i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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