Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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