Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
