remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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