OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
