I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
