And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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