I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
