there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
