ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
