Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
