I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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