I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize