So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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