I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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