Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
