I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
