this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
