I cannot find my penis.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
