I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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