I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
