You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
