ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
