I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
