Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
handjob tips. give me some.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she pinky promised me she was 18
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize