my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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