My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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