Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
