then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
