They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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