Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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