We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
