just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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