how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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