if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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