Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
