Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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